As a creative person, I’ve always likened my emotional thought processes to being right-brained. Having been advised to give logic a try, I present a series of activities in which I can test the psychological waters of rationality.
For example, shopping:
Emotional: I need these Cole Haan pumps immediately, if not sooner.
Logical: These Cole Haan pumps are a great buy, and I will bust a cap in the ass of any bitch who dare tries to snake them away from the protection of my vise-like grip.
Eating:
Emotional: I deserve a one pound bag of animal crackers in one sitting because I’ve had a hard week.
Logical: Eating a pound of cookies is what fat jeans are made for.
Grooming:
Emotional: What does building management mean, ‘It might be a few days before we fix your shower’? How am I supposed to function? Will I lose my will to live?
Logical: Another day I don’t have to shave my legs, you say? Bring on the Veuve - it’s time to celebrate!
Commuting:
Emotional: I wish the guy sitting next to me on the subway wasn’t attempting to start down my shirt. It’s so rude!
Logical: This man appreciates a finely roasted rack of lamb. And I can respect that.
Tears on my pillow,
knp